My boys.

This is one of my favorite pictures, Casey, a girl from my team took. It so perfectly captures three of the boys in South Sudan who stole my heart. The one on the left, with the plaid open shirt, is Lufai(loo-fie), the little one in the middle is Lakong, and the tall one in blue, towards the right, is Henry. Henry is the boy I shared the story about in my last video post :)

South Sudan Taught Me How To Love.

A Story about one of the most impacting lessons and experiences from my 4 week time in South Sudan.

** WARNING: This videos gets a little messy towards the end. Watch at your own discretion :)

Africa Overview.

A peek.

Well... Here it is. Thirty more minutes in the Dulles airport then my crew of 9 students and a co leader board a plane to Belgium, then to Ethiopia, then finally on to Uganda. We arrive sometime Saturday evening and have been invited to speak at the morning and evening services of a church in Kampala the following morning. Nothing like hitting the ground running, and we can't wait!  Monday will be full of adventures as we work on getting our visas for S. Sudan then plan to catch an overnight bus up and into the country. One of our contacts will met us at the boarder of Uganda and S. Sudan and travel up with us to Juba where we will catch a flight to Wau, the city we'll be spending the next 5 weeks in. Amazing. It's really really happening, after all the planning and preparation over the last three months we are now just a few plane rides away. More updates will come based on internet availability so stay tuned :).   Initially our contacts in S. Sudan have set up opportunities in schools in the area, a prison ministry, speaking in local churches and potentially government offices. My heart is beginning to burn for the people in these places and the chance of a life time where regardless of our backgrounds our lives will come together in unimaginable ways.  Somewhere around the end of October we will catch a bus back down to Uganda and spend the remainder of our time at the YWAM base in Arua. Flying back to the states December 10th.  I hope to update regularly, but if not here's a peak into what we will be up to. Blessings and thanks for all the prayers and support!  Here we go!

For Kari.

I'm sitting on a plane, the first of 6 I will be on over the course of the next few days, feasting my ears on Coldplay's new single "Paradise" and letting my mind wander.  

By Saturday these sun kissed feet of mine will be walking on African soil for the first time in their history on this earth. Africa. It all still feels so surreal...

It's wild to me that my first steps will be in the country of Uganda. I remember first really hearing about Uganda years ago when my younger sister, Kari, began supporting a non-profit called Invisible Children and their longing to counter act the monstrosity of children of all ages being kidnapped, brainwashed and forced to fight in wars they could hardly explain if asked. Her heart for the bruised and broken hearted blew me away. For some time Kari dreamed about interning with this organization, and one day traveling to Africa herself. And while her heart still burns for those things the Lord has lead her life down a different path, atleast for the time being... 

So, as I sit here thinking about all this, the past leading up to this point, and the future potential of what these next 3 months hold, I can't help but feel like I've robbed her of something, or maybe more like I've stolen something from her. Stolen her African dream. But then, as I think back on this last year of staffing with YWAM, I am reminded of something very special.... It is only when we close ourselves off to others that our dreams are "our" dreams. But when we open our hearts up they become so so much more. Dreams within the context of family, be it biological or relational, and community, powerfully move from "our" to "each others."  And the best part is people begin riding the wings of each other's dreams not because they lack of their own, but because they so love and believe in one another they willingly lay down their own dream to take up the dream of their friend or family members. Sounds a lot like something Jesus would do, and I love that. 

So now, instead of sitting here thinking I've stolen something, I am realizing that I actually am becoming part of something. I am becoming part of my sister's dream to see a nation changed, to see hope restored, to see life renewed and justice restored.

I know I don't know all, or maybe even any, of the answers and can't bring in solutions to Africa's problems, but I can testify of someone who does and can. Someone who goes before me, alongside me and long after me. What a hopeful revelation when we realize we aren't on our own, when we realize someone has come alongside us and that we no longer walk alone.... Hmmm.

Ok, enough with the rambles. To my sister. To Kari. I want you to know that I will always walk with you and for you, and as I take steps through Africa over these next months I will walk on behalf of you and in support of you. I believe in the dreams God has placed in your heart, and hope to be a part of them whenever I can.   I feel blessed beyond words to know that I am about to walk into not only your dream, but God's...

  "into the stormy night she flies, dreaming  para-para-paradise..." -- Coldplay "Paradise"

I need your help.

I had a dream.

Over the past few months I’ve been led into a very essential revelation. There are some lies I’ve let seep sneakily into my life. Worst part isn’t the seeping, it’s that I actually “cleaned” them up and began to carry them along with me wherever I went. After spending some time pondering this dilemma I have come to one essential conclusion. I. Am. Over. It.

I am done carrying those lies. I’m done believing them, letting them influence who I am and how I live my life. I am done. Hooray! So, here friends are some of those nasty little fellas and how I’ve been working to overcome them.

LIE #1 : “I can’t paint because I’m not “good” at it.” Blasted that one out of the water a few weeks ago with some cardboard I swiped from an old dumpster accompanied by cheap paint from Walmart.  Here's the tree I cut out, AND painted, to decorate my wall :)

LIE #2 : "I am not a 'creative writer.'" Check out the blog I posted on June 5, 2011 to see how I wrestled that one down to the ground.  

LIE #3 : “I am not a dreamer. I don’t have any dreams about my future.” This one is HUGE, and I had no idea how greatly it loomed over me, until last night. Let me explain...

I sat lazily on the couch in the living of my apartment soaking up the glory of a quiet Saturday night. A new friend from London, sat on the couch to my left, and another new friend, from Canada, sat on the floor in front of me gingerly painting her nails. “I want to know your story,” she said. I wasn’t sure what she was looking for so I ask for some clarification, and upon receiving that I proceeded to share a bit about my personal background and family.

“Ok... so, where do you see yourself in three years... Married, kids, in a specific ministry, or certain nation?” she excitedly asked. That question made me stop. It always does. For so long I’ve lived under a 3-6 month policy, with one eight month exception mixed in there for some extra flavor. Up until a year ago my future “plans” were usually limited to the number of fingers of my hands, each on representing a month, not year. Then YWAM (Youth with a Mission – http://www.uofnkona.edu/) hit me and I found myself scribbling down “2 years” in the commitment section of an application (which, a year ago seemed like a big, big deal). So, as I sat there thinking about how to respond, something began to stir inside me. My mind brought back to some wandering thoughts I'd had earlier that morning, and earlier this week.  “Well, it’s doesn’t really have to do with anything I’m doing right now, and it’s a bit random... but really love music. I have no talent, but I love music. For years I've thought it would be amazing to go on tour or manage/promote a band. And, along with that I’ve been thinking about how I wish I would have picked up an instrument years ago... This week especially the desire’s came up to learn to play the guitar. So yea....” They both looked and me and almost simultaneously asked, “And you think it’s too late for that?” I laid my head on the back of the couch and felt this foreign rush of emotions rise up in me as the words, “Yea, kinda...” left my lips. I was pretty sure tears were soon to follow. “It’s never too late for something like that.” Those eight words gifted so pure and genuinely to me activated something in my heart. It felt as if a key turned in my heart and a door long hidden, and forgotten, began to open. A fresh excitement starting swirling deep inside me.

It seems like such a small thing and I can hardly describe it in words, but a dream was released last night, the first in a long long time, and so many more have already taken flight along with it. I have no idea where this will go, and I do understand learning guitar isn’t easy.  But if this is what it takes to awaken more dreams, and open more doors in my heart, I am all for it. So, that being said in 2.5 hours I have my first guitar lesson. Which leads me to share another a lie I realized I was living.

LIE #4: “I am a passive person.” I can be mellow yes, but passive no longer. I’m working on shattering this lie by a.) actually beginning to learn guitar, not just talk about it  b.) committing to it in writing and in public, meaning I am now accountable to others, and therefore must share my journey.

So exciting! One final thing to leave you with... This morning I was sharing with a friend about this dreaming business and this Priscilla Ahn song came on the Pandora station I was listening to. I haven’t heard any of her music before, but this song hit me, especially since right after I shared my "dream" with another friend these lyrics flowed into my ears, “ I had a dream, that I could fly from the highest swing. I had a dream.” Bam. Here's the video and below are the lyrics for it, I hope it inspires you like it did me :)

 

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream