All my soul is pleading for.
It's been three days since we first set foot in Amsterdam, and our bodies are still associating too closely for my liking with jet lag. I remember hearing somewhere that you should expect one day for every hour of difference in time before you may, or may not, pass over the mountain that is irregular sleep. So for us that means seven days... Almost there.
Each day we've chosen a destination and ventured out into the city. Day one took us to a cafe started by YWAM years back, day two the kitchen we'll use should we get ambitious beyond the realms of microwave or toaster oven. And today, day three, led us towards The Tabernacle, YWAM Amsterdam's prayer room quietly nestled a street over from the heart of the Red Light District.
We had plans to meet a friend of Eli's, who lives above the prayer room, for dinner and left early enough to give us plenty of time. We anticipated it would be a good little walk from where we were staying, but we didn't anticipate getting lost and ending up in right in the middle of the Red Light district. My eyes have never become as accustomed with the ground as they did today. It's interesting, no matter what you hear, nothing can prepare you for what you see. I find it hard to know how to respond to an experience like today. It seemed strangely easy to disconnect myself.
Amidst the weight of shock, confusion, and brokenness there is an surrealism that surrounds the fact that this is "life" for so many people. Whether it be women advertising themselves in the windows or the a running the Marijuana store around the corner. This is normal. This is "another day at the office." This is life.
In between figuring out where we needed to go, and trying to keep my eyes directed away from as much as possible, I remember reaching into my purse to check my phone for the time. As I pulled it from my bag music was softly playing. Some time along the way, although it was locked, shuffle had begun and random songs were coming together to make a playlist of their own. I pushed pause, made a mental note of what song it had last been on (wanting to go back later and listen to it,) curious as whether it would apply somehow to that moment in the Red Light District. Then I gingerly tucked it away in the side pocket where it had been before.
After over an hour and a half of hunting we found our destination and spent the next few hours eating homemade Thai food, Dutch sweets and learning to play Dutch blitz. Cultures seemed to came together well tonight.
After spending most of the evening with Eli's friend we made our way back to the base in about a fourth of the time it took us to get there. Rain had just started tapping its presence against our window as walked up four flights of stairs and finally to our room. When I pulled out my phone I was reminded of the song, still on hold, from when we'd made our way out of one of that well-known sinister area of Amsterdam. The song was one I don't think I've ever listened too, even thoughI own it... Jeremy Camp's "Longing Heart" from his Carried Me worship album.
It's been three days since we first set foot in Amsterdam, and our bodies are still associating too closely for my liking with jet lag. I remember hearing somewhere that you should expect one day for every hour of difference in time before you may, or may not, pass over the mountain that is irregular sleep. So for us that means seven days... Almost there.
Each day we've chosen a destination and ventured out into the city. Day one took us to a cafe started by YWAM years back, day two the kitchen we'll use should we get ambitious beyond the realms of microwave or toaster oven. And today, day three, led us towards The Tabernacle, YWAM Amsterdam's prayer room quietly nestled a street over from the heart of the Red Light District.
We had plans to meet a friend of Eli's, who lives above the prayer room, for dinner and left early enough to give us plenty of time. We anticipated it would be a good little walk from where we were staying, but we didn't anticipate getting lost and ending up in right in the middle of the Red Light district. My eyes have never become as accustomed with the ground as they did today. It's interesting, no matter what you hear, nothing can prepare you for what you see. I find it hard to know how to respond to an experience like today. It seemed strangely easy to disconnect myself.
Amidst the weight of shock, confusion, and brokenness there is an surrealism that surrounds the fact that this is "life" for so many people. Whether it be women advertising themselves in the windows or the a running the Marijuana store around the corner. This is normal. This is "another day at the office." This is life.
In between figuring out where we needed to go, and trying to keep my eyes directed away from as much as possible, I remember reaching into my purse to check my phone for the time. As I pulled it from my bag music was softly playing. Some time along the way, although it was locked, shuffle had begun and random songs were coming together to make a playlist of their own. I pushed pause, made a mental note of what song it had last been on (wanting to go back later and listen to it,) curious as whether it would apply somehow to that moment in the Red Light District. Then I gingerly tucked it away in the side pocket where it had been before.
After over an hour and a half of hunting we found our destination and spent the next few hours eating homemade Thai food, Dutch sweets and learning to play Dutch blitz. Cultures seemed to came together well tonight.
After spending most of the evening with Eli's friend we made our way back to the base in about a fourth of the time it took us to get there. Rain had just started tapping its presence against our window as walked up four flights of stairs and finally to our room. When I pulled out my phone I was reminded of the song, still on hold, from when we'd made our way out of one of that well-known sinister area of Amsterdam. The song was one I don't think I've ever listened too, even thoughI own it... Jeremy Camp's "Longing Heart" from his Carried Me worship album.
“What can separate us
From the love of Jesus Christ
Nothing this world can even change
The thought I once was lost
But now been given grace
It's a mystery that I will not chase
you, you, you, all this heart is longing for
Jesus, you are all my soul is pleading for
What can separate us
From the love of Jesus Christ
Nothing in this world can even change
The thought I once was lost
But now been given grace
It's a mystery I will not chase
I don't understand it
How you love the way you do
Even when I've fallen
You always lift me up to you.”
From the love of Jesus Christ
Nothing this world can even change
The thought I once was lost
But now been given grace
It's a mystery that I will not chase
you, you, you, all this heart is longing for
Jesus, you are all my soul is pleading for
What can separate us
From the love of Jesus Christ
Nothing in this world can even change
The thought I once was lost
But now been given grace
It's a mystery I will not chase
I don't understand it
How you love the way you do
Even when I've fallen
You always lift me up to you.”
As I listen to these lyrics I wonder if any of the people I passed tonight ever imagined life bringing them to this place. I wonder how many dreams were lost here, how many lives stolen, hopes dashed, and hearts deceived. But, I also am left wondering at the amazing Love of God. I wonder at the way He sees each person who works in or passes through the Red Light Disctrict just as He sees me. I wonder at how His love runs as deep for them as it does for me, and nothing can hide or separate them from that love. Oh, that one day they would know that love. His Love.
And oh, that one day I could learn to carry that Love. To carry His Love.
And oh, that one day I could learn to carry that Love. To carry His Love.
BAM. love it. love you. Bring the fire.
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