Pretty much the last place I’ve ever wanted to go in my life, and the first place I rejected as an outreach location when I got here to Hawaii. People often say that God has a sense of humor. I can’t help but wonder if he chuckles each time the words, “I will never ...” leave our mouths, and if he sits there with a smile, thinking to himself, “If they only knew...“ And, if that is the case then there is a high likelihood he spent the last two years in a constant chuckle over how many times I said “I never” with regard to wanting to go to China.
Well friends, I’m sure it will come as no surprise that in two months I will in fact be going to, you guessed it, China. My co-leader and I joke about how we didn’t pick China, it picked us. It is humorous actually, the way God words in the midst of our stubbornness. I think it’s safe to say that last week I experience the worst and best day of my life. Thankfully they happened in that order. Wednesday felt like I was trapped in the body of a five year old with feelings I could not shake. I experienced frustration so strong I was convinced the release of words from my mouth would not only summon tears but unshackle a temper tantrum in the process. A tantrum I knew did not belong in my day, and later realized was rooted in pride and selfishness, rather than some great injustice or crime against humanity. Basically, as is the case with most tantrums, it was anything but “justifiable.”
The next day, barely twenty four hours later, I was on the complete other side of the spectrum. I felt a deep freedom beyond anything I had ever experienced prior to that point. My eyes felt brighter and my shoulders lighter. I’m not sure anyone else noticed, but I did. Joy. Inescapable joy. Joy brought on by a God initiated heart change towards the point where I can’t see myself going anywhere else but China now. My feelings of frustration came from a lonely place. A place where I had myself convinced I was alone, on the outside and disconnected. It didn’t take long for me to see the hole in that mentality and the lie that I let myself fall victim to.
I asked God to give me a heart for China, to give me new eyes to see the people there
how he sees them and to help me fathom how he is letting me be part of his vision for that country. He is definitely at work on the first two and the third will follow along soon. I have an amazing group of nine students and a solid co-leader I get the privilege of traveling to China with. Last Friday was our first team meeting, and as I sat there, looking from student to student, listening to each share the story of why they felt led to China, an overwhelming sense of unworthiness swept over me. With my stubbornness and attitude that week I was anything but deserving of sitting in that passionate group, let alone leading them, and yet God in his infinite love and mercy had chosen me. In the end it wasn’t really China that picked me, it was God, and now looking back I am more than okay with it.
I don’t know very much about China. But I do know there is no other place I am supposed to be going, and no other team for me to be a part of.
Here are a few pics of the group from our team lunch yesterday :) God has his hand of these guys and gals. Can’t wait to get to China with them!
Well friends, I’m sure it will come as no surprise that in two months I will in fact be going to, you guessed it, China. My co-leader and I joke about how we didn’t pick China, it picked us. It is humorous actually, the way God words in the midst of our stubbornness. I think it’s safe to say that last week I experience the worst and best day of my life. Thankfully they happened in that order. Wednesday felt like I was trapped in the body of a five year old with feelings I could not shake. I experienced frustration so strong I was convinced the release of words from my mouth would not only summon tears but unshackle a temper tantrum in the process. A tantrum I knew did not belong in my day, and later realized was rooted in pride and selfishness, rather than some great injustice or crime against humanity. Basically, as is the case with most tantrums, it was anything but “justifiable.”
The next day, barely twenty four hours later, I was on the complete other side of the spectrum. I felt a deep freedom beyond anything I had ever experienced prior to that point. My eyes felt brighter and my shoulders lighter. I’m not sure anyone else noticed, but I did. Joy. Inescapable joy. Joy brought on by a God initiated heart change towards the point where I can’t see myself going anywhere else but China now. My feelings of frustration came from a lonely place. A place where I had myself convinced I was alone, on the outside and disconnected. It didn’t take long for me to see the hole in that mentality and the lie that I let myself fall victim to.
I asked God to give me a heart for China, to give me new eyes to see the people there
how he sees them and to help me fathom how he is letting me be part of his vision for that country. He is definitely at work on the first two and the third will follow along soon. I have an amazing group of nine students and a solid co-leader I get the privilege of traveling to China with. Last Friday was our first team meeting, and as I sat there, looking from student to student, listening to each share the story of why they felt led to China, an overwhelming sense of unworthiness swept over me. With my stubbornness and attitude that week I was anything but deserving of sitting in that passionate group, let alone leading them, and yet God in his infinite love and mercy had chosen me. In the end it wasn’t really China that picked me, it was God, and now looking back I am more than okay with it.
I don’t know very much about China. But I do know there is no other place I am supposed to be going, and no other team for me to be a part of.
Here are a few pics of the group from our team lunch yesterday :) God has his hand of these guys and gals. Can’t wait to get to China with them!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Team China Woo!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yay, CHINA!
ReplyDeleteChina might be the country with the most Christians (not per capita, total). They think something like 300 million. I've learned that there are laws in place, that people are allowed to gather up to 25 people. When person 26 comes along, the group splits and grows again. The church is underground, but one of the fastest growing in the world!!!!